A woman has explained her "girl math" to Newsweek after going viral with her reasons for telling friends she's always busy with her boyfriend on Fridays, even when she's seen him repeatedly throughout the week.
Some times with him count more than others, said Samantha Wong, from Vancouver. But her logic does not add up for some commenters.
Talking to Newsweek, Wong said: "I speak to the realness of spending more time with your partner, especially when you're in a healthy, committed relationship, but the time that's spent can often not feel like quality time because you're tackling different areas with each "hang out", friend groups, family gatherings etc.
"I refer to these non-quality-time-events as 'not counting' towards a true hangout with my partner, as I value the importance of prioritizing quality time, one of my love languages, and actively plan ahead to ensure we're having quality time each week."
In her post shared on TikTok in April, under the username samcity_, 28-year-old Wong explained that seeing her boyfriend while with other people, or for convenience doesn't count as hanging out with him, so she'll go on a date night with him during the weekend even though they've been seeing each other all week.
She told Newsweek: "If I have a plan with someone (friend, family, boyfriend), I am committed to honoring that plan EVEN if I've spent time with that same person earlier in the week."
In the clip she says: "Someone would ask me if I'm free on Friday and I'll say, 'no I made plans with my boyfriend,' and they'll respond by saying 'didn't you see him four other times this week?' and the thing is those don't count."
"One of those was pure convenience, he was sleeping over because he worked really early and I live closer to his work, doesn't count. One of them we were hanging out with my friend, so like obviously that doesn't count as a hangout.
"Then of course we had to hangout with his friends too because equality. No but Sunday we went to go see my family so that doesn't count either because that's family time.
"Friday is date night and that's the only day I'm actually seeing my boyfriend this week, so unfortunately I'm not free."
She also shared a caption along with the new viral clip that reads: "I'm a girl and this is girl math."
She added in her interview with Newsweek: "That video interestingly had polarizing views. On one hand, viewers were concerned that friendships were not being prioritized and that I would 'lose all my friends soon enough.' On the other, viewers were confirming that quality time is important and that making plans, no matter with whom, should be honored without question."
@samcity_ I’m a girl and this is girl math
♬ original sound - samcity
While the poster is all for nurturing healthy relationship, many young Americans are dating less than previous generations were.
In 2023 the U.S. Census Bureau, reported that nearly 47 percent of the American population (just over 117 million people) were single.
Their stats show that the percentage of both married men and women went down from about 60 to 40 percent in the last 30 years, while the number of those never married went up to 40 percent for men and over 30 percent for women.
Wong's video quickly went viral on social media, getting viewers from across TikTok. It has so far received over 3.6 million views and 540,300 likes on the platform.
One user, PhilippaAfterDark, commented: "No but there's nothing worse than wanting to see a friend and they bring their boyfriend."
Angel said: "Honestly, my friends understand when I say no. Even if they didn't, idc he's my bf and I want to be with him when I want to be with him. I don't need to explain anything to anyone."
Steven Rice wrote: "Make time for your friends or they'll stop asking to hangout because they'll just assume you're not interested or busy."
Epicfunnypage added: "People don't realize your boyfriend literally becomes your best friend. The boyfriend-to-friend balance is the hardest to maintain!"
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Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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